The Stages of Injury

Getting injured leads to a rollercoaster of emotions, from depression to grief to hope to worry to disappointment to relief. If you ever get injured, you can expect to experience some form of The 8 Stages of Injury outlined below.

Bewilderment: What do I have?
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  • Incessant Googling of symptoms
  • Describing your symptoms repeatedly to your husband
  • Twisting and turning, poking and prodding your body to see what really hurts

Recognition: Could I have that?
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  • Google search terms become more specific
  • Discovery of “tests” you can do at home to see what it is
  • Trying those tests and hurting yourself
  • Weighing the cost of medical care against the chances of successful self-diagnosis and self-treatment

Denial: There’s no way I have that.
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  • Reading further into the Google search results in hopes of finding someone with your symptoms who doesn’t have the injury you think you have
  • Trying to run one more time and failing miserably
  • Taking pain medication and pretending nothing hurts
  • Telling your husband about how rare the injury is and hoping that means you don’t have it

Anger: Thanks Obama.
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  • Crying
  • Swear words
  • Throwing things
  • Angry phone dialing to make an appointment with the doctor
  • Blaming your shoes, the cats, your chair at work, and your upbringing
  • Giving your husband the silent treatment for going to the gym without you

Bargaining: Please, let it be anything but that.
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  • Promises to run less, rest more, stretch more, and lift more weights if your body lets you run again
  • Telling your injured body part how nice and pretty it is and if it will just feel better you’ll take it out for a nice jog or swim or cycle or whatever it wants

Depression: That is the worst thing that could ever happen.
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  • Shopping for motorized scooters online for when they amputate your leg because you’ll never get better
  • Crying
  • Ice cream
  • Making your husband watch chick flicks with you

Diagnosis: That’s what it is.
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  • Saying, “I told you so,” to all the skeptics who doubted your self-diagnosis
  • Cool bone pictures
  • Dusting off the crutches from when you broke your ankle in 10th grade
  • A crush on your cute doctor

Acceptance: That will heal. Eventually.
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  • “Will you take the trash out?”
  • “Will you hold the door for me?”
  • “Will you get me a beer?”
  • “Will you cook dinner?”
  • “Will you go to the grocery store?”
  • “Will you get up early and drop me off at the train station?”
  • “Do I have to wait till you’re done with all the chores before I watch Game of Thrones?”
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